Ladies is Gauchos too (Bolivian mule riding for some, Italian Stallion riding for others)

If you find yourself in Salta, which you should, it's great - stay at the Patios de Lerma Hotel. It's gorgeous, there's a rooftop patio with two jaccuzzi hot tubs (which are like baths, you can adjust the temperature with a faucet, except housekeeping draws it for you and brings you bathrobes and slippers) and the people who work here are so nice and friendly and gluten-free knowledgeable. Also it's on the best street in town that has all the best restaurants. Also if you are here, you should do the salta horseback riding tour, it's beautiful and so much fun. We went with a real live gaucho (I was so jealous of his outfit, but I got a SERIOUS cowboy hat. He took us up the windiest road I've ever been on (obviously) for 15k, just one turn followed by a turn in the opposite direction the entire time. So nauseating. Jordan slept through it. The farm we went to used to be an old monestary and the chapel is intact but a family keeps it as their weekend and summer home, renting it out and a bunch of people live there year round working on the land. The horses were so nice and beautiful, and there were five dogs that followed us everywhere. This blog could actually have been called Rachel with a series of barnyard animals if I hadn't already used that title for my Amsterdam blog. Anyways we went up into the mountains, not really on much of a trail, with an overhanging canopy of trees and amazing views of valleys full of chirping parrots. The dogs ran ahead the whole way. At first I was incredibly depressed because my horse would not obey any of my commands and was going incredibly slowly and it caused me to doubt my assertion, self-worth, and strength of personality but luckily Jordan agreed to switch horses with me and my confidence was regained when I realized my horse was just a Bolivian mule in that he was contrary and stubborn. We had a bar b q of pretty much an entire cow, and it was theeee best meat I have ever had, coming from a presque-vegetarian. For some reason we took the horses running after our gigantic lunch and multiple glasses of wine, it was pretty terrifying but a lot of fun, even though i almost got decapitated by a tree branch and ended up sporting it as a hair accessory. Now neither of us can walk and are so exhausted we aren't going to make our 11 00 dinner (because thats when dinner starts here, and we're always too tired to make it to the show, but if you are more lively after intense day-long excursions of exhausting physical exertion, go to the vieja estacion for the show, the restaurant is so cool. and if you're dining a little earlier so you can pass out on the most comfortable beds ever, go to la lenita and get the "mashed potatos" which is actually mashed potatoes wrapped in melted mozzarella cheese and fried and is the most delicious thing ever r so jordan told me as i made him describe every bite and get the house wine and steak, sins egg para me) going to do the aforementioned passing out now, pictures and really funny video of me screaming while galloping into the sunset to follow.

Uyuni

if you are going to Uyuni, do not bother staying anywhere but La Petite Porte. Christophe, the owner is the nicest person you will meet in all of Bolivia *as is his Janett, who also works there*. If you're Spanish is less than perfect, it will be a welcome relief to converse in French (he's from Lille, France) or English. He will bend over backwards to accommodate any requests and will help with travel plans, even calling hotels to book them for you. It's like staying at a friend's house with the added bonus of luxurious privacy. The hotel is BEAUTIFUL, full of light, open and airy and every detail is perfect I want my home ot look exactly like it. The best part is that there´s a tv with dvd in your room and he has 100s of dvds to choose from which will come in handy because there´s nothing at all to do in Uyuni after the sun goes down (not that there´s all that much to do during the daytime either, aside from seeing the salt flats). Before doing the salt flat tour we had a couple days in Uyuni since I was gravement infirme and couldn´t leave my bed or even take my head out of a garbage bag. Luckily I was able to recuperate in comfort while watching Lost in Translation, Snatch and The Heartbreak kid while Jordan tried to find me broth. Here´s the thing about Uyuni (and in my experience, as well as everyone I´ve spoken about it with since, all of Bilivia) even though the town exists solely as a stopover for tourists en route to see the salt flats, it does not ctaer to tourists in the least. Absolutely nobody wants to work, even though they are living in squalor and you can´t even pay extra for service. Restaurants close at exactly 12:30 and will not serve you afterwartds because the chef and waitors will be sitting inside watching a movie. No matter if you´re starving and about to pass out, haven´t eaten in days or are willing to pay them triple the prices on the menu, they will forcibly push you out of their place of ¨business¨. Laundry places take about a week to do your laundry and again when offered more money to do it faster the lady replied Ï honestly just don´t feel like it¨. Perhaps the weirdest part of Uyuni is that absolutely nothing is made there - they import everything from mustard and chocolate bars to clothes, drinks, fruits, vegetables. Nothing is fresh and nothingis local except for the salt (which you´ll be needing a lot of if you´re going to be eating the food). They get everything they need from this huge open air market where there are stalls selling everything from soap and pharmacy items to televisions and hosuehold appliances and if it isn´t there then you can´t get it. The museum was closed when we went because there was a change in government and the new government fired everybody in order to create postions for their friends but there was a problem at the museum, somehow things got broken and now it has no plans to reopen üntil there is a new government. They had plans to open an airport in Uyuni, but only got so far as to make a runway which was then completely destroyed because the locals went drag racing on it and went there to learn how to drive. It is the strangest, most backwards and middle-of-nowhere-town ever. The salt flats, though, are pretty much worth it. They are completely otherworldly, you feel like you are driving across an alien planet or walking on the moon. I have never seen such colors anywhere. We went on a private tour with the only nice Bolivian we encountered aside from Christophe and Jannette (only one of whom is atcually a native bolivian) and got to drive up a volcano and see pre-inca skeletons that they foundin a cave. They say that the skeletons are a family ( the kids skeletons are especially haunting) and they either dies of natural causes such as starvation or else they were locked in the cave as a sacrifice to the mountains. The highlights of Salta were sedifintely CHRISTOPHE and his amazing hotel and restaurant (the only place to get a good meal) he´ll have atable ready for you right by the fire, the music is really good, the service is great and the food is delicious, the salkt flats were incredible and I always love seeing dead people.